In Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, safety is the most important. Safety refers to both the physical and emotional safety of a person. When someone goes through trauma, their safety is shattered. The threat of life and death along with the broken emotional safety, is in both that moment and the aftermath of the event. Of course, during the beginning stages, I wasn’t thinking how the safety was shattered. My mind just constantly was “Everything is unsafe”. The body gets completely exhausted from constantly being switched on to the flight, fight, freeze response. And I mean exhausted, like falling asleep during the day in the middle of life going by. Before now, I never paid too much attention to the fact that out of the hierarchy of needs, my safety was not in place. Now, I get it. That might seem easy to hear and then your brain is supposed to just flip a switch because you now have this knowledge. But it doesn’t work that way. It took a long time to consider how not having safety met, meant that so many other elements of trying to heal and process through trauma were not working. At least not working to the full extent. It may seem trivial, to be thinking about one’s safety, even if it’s years after the trauma happened, but in reality, it’s very important.
In times where safety is not met, a person is in a place where they are more vulnerable, more likely to have triggers and end up in a loop where they feel like they get a little closer to getting better, but then circle back down, oftentimes not understanding why. It won’t happen overnight, but it’s important to take time to acknowledge where you are at, what you are feeling, and allow yourself to just be open to yourself. This will allow for healing to start coming in. You may also be able to better understand certain changes you may need to make in your life to find that safety.
Everyone deserves to feel safe.
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